There is not one female comic who was beautiful as a little girl.
The one thing women don't want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband.
I hate housework. You make the beds, you wash the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.
I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
She saw a sign saying 'Wet Floor.' So she did!
(This picture is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic license. - David Shankbone)
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